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Jessica's Life, Ch. 5: Ever Okay?

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Jessica's Life, Ch. 5: Ever Okay?
Characters: Jessica, Kevin, Emily, Nelson, Brandon, Rob, Annie, Monica, Valerie
Summary: Now that Aunt Lauren is gone, how will Jessica get through possibly the most difficult part of her death, the funeral? And will she ever be okay again?

After school, Emily went to Jessica’s house. She was worried about her friend and was desperate to make sure Jessica really was okay. Jessica’s dad opened the door when she knocked.
“Jessica isn’t here right now, Emily,” Nelson said slowly. He was touched to see Jessica’s friend coming to find her.
“Where is she?” Emily asked. “I’ve been worried about her. She hadn’t been herself lately, and when she didn’t come to school today…” Emily’s voice trailed off.
“I know. She’s at the park.” Nelson wasn’t sure what else to say. He knew Jessica was upset, and she wanted to be alone. But he wasn’t sure if that was the best idea. He knew from experience that sometimes someone thought they wanted to be alone but they really needed someone there for them.
Emily nodded. She figured she knew exactly where her friend was, and now that she knew that, she was determined to find her.

Brandon was angry. He was mad that Aunt Lauren died, and he didn’t want to talk about it. He was also mad that Jessica hadn’t had to go to school, but because he had an English test, their dad made him go. He had begged, but nothing worked.
He picked up his bear. As long as no one found how much he relied on the stuffed animal, he would be fine. Aunt Lauren and Uncle Rob had given it to him for his third birthday. And now that Aunt Lauren was gone, Jordan was that much more special to him.

Jessica sat on the bench again. She didn’t want to believe that Aunt Lauren was actually gone, but she knew denial would do nothing. But right now, she was at the point of numbness. She didn’t know what to do next.
A thought hit her. Her hair had finally grown enough that she could cut it and have it made into a wig, which was what she had been planning to for Aunt Lauren.
“Maybe I should cut it and donate it anyways,” she whispered softly. “I could do that in memory of Aunt Lauren.”
“Jess?” The voice next to her startled her, and she looked up.
“What do you want?” she asked. She realized she was being rude; after all, it was just Emily. But Emily had startled her, and she was annoyed.
“I’m sorry, Jess. I didn’t mean to startle you. We’re all worried about you,” Emily said.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude like that,” Jessica muttered.
“Jessica, what’s been going on? It’s not like you to ditch school…” Emily’s voice trailed off, and she thought for a minute. “Does it have to do with your aunt?” she asked gently, watching Jessica’s face. Tears filled Jessica’s eyes, and she started to cry. Emily rubbed her back.
“Aunt Lauren died yesterday.” Jessica’s words came out in broken parts. “She had cancer, and it took over. That’s why she wasn’t at our championship game, and actually why Kevin shaved his head all those months ago.” She stopped talking because her tears wouldn’t let her.
“Jessica.” Emily didn’t say anything else. She didn’t know what else to say. “I’m so sorry to hear that.” She couldn’t believe that Jessica went through that alone and didn’t tell anyone what was going on. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I couldn’t. Aunt Lauren didn’t want a lot of people to know.” The whole story of Lauren’s struggle came out as fast as Jessica could talk. “I was going to cut my hair for her, but…” Her voice trailed off, and she couldn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t need to; Emily understood.
“I’m sorry, Jess. I’m sorry you had to go through this alone. I wish we could have been there for you,” Emily said gently.
“There wasn’t anything you could do. There’s nothing anyone can do,” Jessica said sadly. She knew her life would never be the same.
“But you still didn’t have to go through it alone,” Emily repeated. Jessica nodded slowly.
“I know. And I wish I could have told you the truth. But Aunt Lauren didn’t want a lot of people around,” Jessica replied.
“I understand.” Emily’s voice was sympathetic. She hugged her friend and realized what time it was. “Uh, Jess, we should probably head home. It’s getting late.”
“I know. I don’t want to go home right now. Brandon’s probably still locked in his room. He was ticked that Dad made him go to school today. But he had a test, so Dad said he had to go. And I haven’t seen Mom in days. She’s working so much.” Jessica wished her mom was around more, especially now that Aunt Lauren was gone.
“Hey. Let’s do something tomorrow. Let’s go to the movies or something. We can do lunch and go hang out at the mall. Something normal, something fun. Anything to get your mind off everything that’s going on,” Emily said, a smile on her face. Jessica shook her head. “Why not?”
“Because Sunday is Aunt Lauren’s funeral. And Uncle Rob asked me to say something at it. I have to think about what I’m going to say,” Jessica replied. Emily nodded.
“I have one question.” Her voice was quiet, tentative. “Can we be there for you? Me, Val, Monica, and Annie? We loved your aunt. She was always there watching us play soccer, cheering for us all. And she was there for me when Dad got remarried.” Tears were in Emily’s eyes as she remembered all the ways Lauren had been there for her, even though they weren’t related.
Jessica watched Emily’s face and nodded slowly. “Yeah. That would be great if you guys would be there for me. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through it.”
“You’ll get through because we will be there with you, every step of the way,” Emily replied, placing her hand on her friend’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Emily.” Jessica smiled. “You know, I thought I wanted to be alone and not talk to anyone, but this really helped. I feel a little tiny bit better. Thanks.” The two girls embraced, and arm in arm, they walked home.

Sunday came, and Jessica didn’t know how she’d get through the service. She had spent Saturday locked in her room, writing out what she was going to say. She knew Kevin, Uncle Rob and her dad were all going to speak as well. Her mom had even gotten the whole day off from work.
Jess looked at her reflection. She was dressed in a solemn black dress that she had gotten when Grandma Morris passed away. It definitely wasn’t her favorite dress, but it would do for the funeral.

Nelson wondered how he would get through the day. He had agreed to speak, and now he wondered if he would be able to do that. He loved his sister and had never thought this day would come. After their parents passed on, they had grown closer, and they had grown even closer through Lauren’s battle.
He had prepared something special for her service today, special memories from their childhood. He knew Rob was going to talk about the special times they had together as a married couple, and Kevin was going to talk about Lauren as a mom. Jessica was also speaking, but Nelson didn’t know what his daughter was going to speak about.

Kevin stood in front of the mirror and was shocked by his own appearance. His face was pale, and his eyes were red. He was wearing his nice tux, the black one, and he didn’t want to go to his mom’s service. He was still having trouble believing that she was really gone. It all happened so fast.

Emily had told all the girls about Lauren, and they had met yesterday to talk. Then they were all meeting at Emily and Annie’s house to go to the service. Emily knew Jessica would need them today, and she was determined to be there for her friend. Jess hadn’t told them about Aunt Lauren before, but now that she had, all the girls wanted to support her.

Brandon stood in his room, still holding Jordan. He really didn’t want to go to his aunt’s funeral, but he knew he had no choice. He remembered something Aunt Lauren had told him when he was seven.
Jordan was well-loved, so much so that his arms had started to wear down, and Aunt Lauren had told Brandon that if his bear’s arms ever came off from being loved so much, she would fix him. And Brandon realized that if that happened, she wouldn’t be able to do that, because Aunt Lauren was gone.
He brought Jordan up to his face and cried. He missed Aunt Lauren. And he didn’t want to go to her funeral. He still didn’t want to believe that she gone.


Emily sat in the church sanctuary, waiting for the service to begin. She made eye contact with Jessica and gave her friend a supportive smile. No matter what happened, they would all be there for her.
Jessica’s dad spoke first, and he talked about his sister’s childhood and how much fun they had together. Rob spoke next, speaking of their marriage. Emily could see how much he had loved her.
Kevin spoke about his mom, and part way through his speech, he broke down. Jessica stood up and walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, giving him the strength to go on.

When Kevin finished, it was Jessica’s turn. She was already up front, having gone up while Kev was talking, and so she stepped in front of the microphone. Kevin started to walk back to his seat, but Jessica grabbed his hand.
“Please stay,” she whispered, giving him a pleading look. He nodded and stood next to her. Jessica cleared her throat. She looked over the audience and saw her friends. She saw her brother with his face as expressionless as it had been ever since he found out about Aunt Lauren, still holding on to his bear. She saw her dad and uncle, sitting next to each other. She saw her mom, sitting still for once, holding her dad’s hand.
“Aunt Lauren was the best aunt ever,” Jessica began. “She was always there for me. She loved me, and I love her. She helped me feel better when I was sad. She was like a second mom to me.” Jessica paused, tears in her eyes. Kevin squeezed her hand. “She watched every single one of my soccer games, even the last one before she passed away. We were really close, and I miss her.” Kevin put his arm around her, giving her strength.
“She meant the world to my family. She always knew just what to say to me to get me going, to make me keep going, even when my world was falling apart around me. I’ll always remember the way she made me feel special, and I will always love her. And I will always miss her. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Aunt Lauren. You will be missed greatly.”
Jessica’s body shook with emotion. That had been much harder than she thought. She could feel Kevin leading her back to their seats, could feel her family around her. Brandon used Jordan’s paws to wipe the tears off her face, and she couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes she wondered if her brother was more perceptive than he let on.
“Thanks,” she whispered to him. He gave a hint of a smile for the first time since Aunt Lauren’s death. Jessica looked at the worn bear. The poor stuffed animal had been through everything with Brandon, and it was definitely well-loved. And her brother hadn’t let go of it in days.

After the service ended, all the girls gathered around Jessica.
“Jess, Emily and I want to pray for you,” Annie said gently. Jessica nodded, tears in her eyes. “God, Jessica is hurting a lot right now. Both Emily and I know what it’s like to lose someone you love. We pray that You would be close to her and show her Your love.”
“Let her know she’s not alone, even if she feels like the world is ending. I know it’s hard to lose someone, but please, God, be there for her. And let us be there for her too,” Emily said. “In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
“Amen,” they all echoed. Jessica smiled sadly.
“Thank you. I really miss her. Today was a lot harder than I thought it would be,” Jessica admitted.
“We knew it was going to be hard. And we wanted to be here for you. We all loved your aunt. She was so cool, watching us all play soccer,” Valerie said.
“Thanks,” Jessica said, her voice quiet. “I can’t decide if I’m mad or just sad. I guess I just wish it hadn’t happened.”
“I understand,” Annie replied. “When my dad died, I was angry. I was angry that I didn’t get to see him again, and that I hadn’t seen him in five years. He left before the twins were born. I was mad that they never got to meet him. After a while, I was just sad. I was sad that he was gone, that I would never see him again. I was sad for all the same reasons I had been mad.”
“Right now, I feel like a part of me is missing. Aunt Lauren was always so kind to me. And I just want to cry,” Jessica said before breaking down. All the girls wrapped her in a hug and stood there until she had stopped crying. She whispered her thanks to her friends.
“I noticed your mom and dad holding hands,” Emily commented after a while of comfortable silence. Jessica sniffled.
“I’m glad,” she said.
“How’s Brandon taking all of this?” Jessica shrugged.
“He won’t talk about it, but I know he’s hurting. He’s angry about it. And he really misses her. He hasn’t let go of his bear since he found out.” Jessica’s voice was a mere whisper. She thought about her brother’s stuffed bear.
“I understand that,” Annie said softly. “After we found about my dad, I didn’t want to give up the blanket he had given me when I was a baby. It was special to me, a way to connect with him even when he was gone far away. When we found out he had died, I wouldn’t let go of the blanket. I took it everywhere with me.”
“I never told anyone this, but my real mom died when I was two,” Valerie said.
“Val, I’m so sorry,” Jessica said gently. She wrapped her arms around her friend. Valerie shrugged.
“I didn’t remember her. But she went into premature labor, and they couldn’t save her or the baby. But before I was born, she made me this doll. I named the doll Honey.” Valerie wiped her eyes. She hadn’t realized how hard it had been.
“When did your dad get remarried?” Emily asked, her voice compassionate.
“I don’t even remember. I must have been only about three years old when he did. But I don’t remember my real mom. I was too young. But now, Honey is still my best friend. And Mom knows how much Honey means to me. She understands.” Val smiled again.
“I know exactly how that it. My doll Renée is really special to me. Aunt Lauren gave her to me when I turned eight. And she made outfits for her.” Jessica fell silent, as if it had just occurred to her that Aunt Lauren would never make her doll another outfit.
Emily changed the subject, hoping to help Jessica feel a bit better. She knew the pain of losing someone you loved would never fully go away. There were still times when she missed her sister.
“Emily!” Annie exclaimed, giggling. “You’re doing it again!”
“Doing what?” she asked, surprised.
“Playing with your necklace,” Monica replied, grinning. Jessica gave a small smile.

Kevin watched Jessica with her friends. He saw the faces they were making, the smile Jessica gave. His heart felt the tiniest bit lighter after watching her. He knew they were going to be okay. It might take time, but they were going to be okay.


Epilogue:
Kevin walked through the doors with his dad and a girl Jessica had never seen before. Jessica looked up at him, confused.
“Hey. Uncle Nelson, Jess, and Brandon, I want you to meet my fiancée, Lucy,” he said, a smile on his face. Jessica grinned. Kevin was finally getting married. Aunt Lauren's final wish was finally coming true.
The final part of Jessica's story. I've had it done for a long time, but I'm just now posting it? I guess I forgot. 

But anyways... Yeah. I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I haven't been writing as much as I would like to be able to. 

Also, random facts about this particular section. Some of the things the characters do are based off my own life and things I've done in my life. :)

Um.... Characters belong to me, all that stuff. Thanks and enjoy! 
© 2014 - 2024 ellethana
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